Relationships are powerful.
Whenever two people meet and share, they have a choice to use this interaction to expand love. There is vast potential in every relationship, be aware of that!
If someone asked you how to achieve enlightenment, you might think of yoga, meditation or pranayama practices. Yes, they are powerful means to expand your consciousness. But I tell you, they are as powerful as the relationships around you.
Love vs. fear relationship
Love and fear are spread worldwide through human relationships. Every interaction counts, even the strangers you run into on the street. You can use the encounter in the service of love or for sharing fear.
It is your choice: Compassion or condemnation, acceptance or judgement. I assure you, you always choose, although you don’t realize it.
If you use the relationship correctly, it can be a definitive path for growth and self-development.
Did I choose love or fear?
You cannot perceive love or fear with the senses, as they are abstract qualities. You’ll know your choice by checking the outcome of your actions. The result is the objective witness. Ask him!
When a relationship serves love
The outcome of a satisfying relationship is always a joy. Here, the linear idea of losing what you have given doesn’t work anymore. If you offer love, you will receive even more of it.
Love is energy and power. By putting your relationships to serve it, you will receive and enjoy a vast amount of energy. You will become powerful enough to face and overcome your limitations.
When a relationship serves fear
As you probably imagine, fear relationships generate and increase despair and concern. Fear is a lack of love. It is the ultimate source of the scarcity of freedom. So, fear relationships always promote the state of limitation and dependence.
In short, fear relationships or interactions constantly drain your energy, and if you are in a low state of vitality, every little hill seems like an insurmountable mountain.
The useless discussions
Useless discussions are a clear example of relationships serving fear. They bring nothing but a waste of time and energy for everyone.
The motivation behind a useless discussion may seem different on the surface, but it is essentially a fight between two personalities.
Here are some common ideas behind a fruitless discussion. I…
…want you to understand me;
…need you to recognize I am right;
…request you to realize you are guilty;
…ask you to admit I am free of guilt;
…demand you to do what I like;
…reject what you want me to do;
…wish you to accept you are wrong.
It is a drama in which both parts are competing to win a non-existing privilege. If you are engaged in such a situation, you have to find a way out as soon as possible.
Five powerful sentences to end discussions
Those expressions will work if you embody them completely. At least for a while. If you use the words with no intention, they are not going to work. You have to sense and align them internally with the meaning behind them as you speak.
These sentences will attack the main foundations of the argument directly. Watch out; your ego may feel a bit sick!
I do not know.
In every discussion, you think that you know something. Meanwhile, the other person also thinks they know the truth. Every fight is a defense of what I know versus what someone else knows.
If I recognize that I don’t know the truth, the discussion cannot continue anymore.
Ego cannot deal with honesty and genuine humbleness. The argument will collapse once you realize and acknowledge that you don’t know everything.
It was my mistake, my apologies.
Many discussions are a competition to avoid guilt. It’s like a contest where the loser is the guilty party, and the winner is the innocent one.
But remember, it is impossible to win a battle, and as long as the fight continues, you are both losers. Thus, be ready to apologize and take responsibility. This decision will set you and your fight mate free. Great!
You are right.
Easy, no? Let’s say the other person is trying to convince you of something, but you disagree with it. If the topic is not critical, what is the point of the argument?
You give the best smile and reply, “I think you are right, my friend. You have thoroughly convinced me.” Most importantly, you say this with love; put aside the irony!
Many people seek recognition through discussions. Giving a bit of sweet appreciation is free and very pleasant for both parties!
I will do what you want.
This phrase is my favourite. Suppose someone wants you to carry out a task. For some reason, this person needs this to be completed to rest. However, you may consider that the request is, in fact, purposeless.
If you oppose, you will show that there is real value in what he is asking you. Of course, a discussion will start at this point.
Pointless requests shouldn’t generate a fight! Just do it, fulfil the petition, and show in this way how futile it was.
I love you.
Every discussion is, ultimately, a request for affection. Each of the four previous sentences is a different form of saying, “I recognize and care for you.”
The best discussion killer is to say: I love you.
If your relationships serve love, you will attract potent energies. This potential will free you from the limitations and constraints. That is the path of the charming warrior, who grows through relationships.
Ego-based discussions kill relationships, for they promote the state of separation by reinforcing the perception of duality. Please don’t waste your energy on them!
Be brave. Choose the alternative—the path of forgiveness and humbleness. You will see how the relationships transform before your eyes.